Being a Working Mom. . .

This week, I officially returned back to work. After several wonderful Summer months off, it was only a matter of time before those back to school ad's and commercials made their ugly appearance. I always dread getting back into the routine of school, but being the Mom to a toddle with HORRIBLE separation anxiety makes it that much worse. Mackenzie has always been a Mama's girl and never likes to be apart from me. It has been a rough start back for both of us, and we have both shed tears most days following drop off. She begs and pleads with me on most car rides to "please stay home" and tells me that "I don't like when Mommy works. I miss you so much, it makes me soooo sad!" Luckily, she has the world's best sitter, who is wonderful at diverting her attention and distracting her with a story, art project or fun activity! I am just praying that her separation anxiety improves b/c it is a hard start to our day (and I am already an emotional pregnant woman)!

Today we shared a conversation on the couch that I don't think I will ever forget. It was sweet and heartbreaking all at the same time. I got up early, got myself totally ready, all of her stuff packed up for her sitter's house, and then went into her room. She was OUT cold! I wasn't really in a rush to get to work, so I climbed in her bed and just cuddled her for a minute. I rubbed her back until she woke up and told her we needed to get dressed. Without a word, she got out of bed, headed down the stairs, climbed up on the couch and waited for me to get her ready (such a sweet, sweet girl!) As I was dressing her, she looked up at me with the sweetest face and shared a conversation with me that I will never forget.

Mackenzie: "Mommy, where are we going? To the zoo?"
Mommy: "Not today sweetheart."
Mackenzie: "Mommy are you taking me to a playground?"
Mommy: "No honey, not today."
Mackenzie: "Where are we going today Mommy? I love doing things with you!" (This statement was said with the sweetest, most angelic voice AND her little hand on my leg).
Mommy: "Kenzie, I love doing things with you too, but today Mommy has to go to work. But we will do something fun after work. Where should we go together?"
Mackenzie: "No Mommy, I don't want you to go to work. I want you to stay home. I don't want you to leave me anymore! Please Mommy, Please, stay home!"

Then it was tears and a fast sprint up the stairs to be consoled by Daddy. Being a working Mom is the HARDEST job in the world. I am lucky to only have to do it 9 months out of the year....and part time at that.

We have enjoyed so many fun days together this Summer, that I assume she thought we were getting dressed and off for another adventure together. Completely broke my heart into a million tiny pieces. Oh how I miss our Summer days together...and it's only the first week back. I keep reminding myself to be greatful to have a daughter that loves me so much. It is a great compliment and I know the day will come soon enough when she wants nothing to do with me and won't let me be a part of her world.
I just pray that her separation anxiety drastically improves as the year progresses, so I am not dropping off a screaming toddler AND a newborn after my maternity leave.

So, Mackenzie, this post will serve as a reminder that no matter where I am, or what I am doing....I will ALWAYS love you...and ALWAYS come back for you! I miss you, my sweet Summer buddy! 180 days until our next Summer together!