When I started this blog, I wanted to document moments of our life, so one day my kids could look back and read/remember their childhood. As a rule, I typically share the "fun" stuff. Birthday parties, holidays, milestones, etc. However, I will be the first to admit, "it ain't always sunshine and rainbows." Of course, like anyone else's children, mine wake up in the middle of the night, throw tantrums in public, make big messes, and spend their fair share of time in "time out." Yet, who wants to read/share the less than flattering moments of life? Well, we all do. It makes us feel a little more human. It reminds us that no one is perfect!
I think all too often, we women especially, strive to do it all seamlessly. We want to be good wives, mothers, neighbors, friends. We want to appear to have it all together. When we have company, we make sure the house is in tip-top shape. We plan the perfect meal and bake homemade dessert. Of course, on any normal work/school night, we are serving more simple meals like hot dogs and mac 'n cheese, and dessert consists of something store bought. Our family room would look like a toy-nado hit and there would probably be laundry sitting wrinkled in the dryer.
So, why am I blowing my own cover you ask? That is a good question. One of my good girlfriends said not too long ago "you make everything look so easy. You're like the perfect Mom." I had to laugh b/c this is so far from the truth. In fact, the Director of my chidren's preschool told me one day at pick up, that one the weekends, she asks herself "what would Jill Buzzard do in this situation?" I told her through my laughter, "she would probably be yelling at her own kids!" Like anyone else, I have my moments of frustration, irritation, and annoyance with my kids. I have moments where I long for just a few quiet moments to myself. I just don't always share them. However, saying this, I would not trade what I have for anything else in the world. But by no means, is everything easy!
I have had many conversations with my own mother questioning why my children may have behaved the way they did at a certain age/stage or how I felt like I never behaved/disobeyed (as a child) the way my own kids do at times, And more than that, how I'm sure my own parents never had the feelings of annoyance/frustration with me and my sisters, that I have with my two. But, I have come to find that I am wrong. I served my fair share of time in time out, had my "less than desirable moments," and drove my parents crazy like any other normal child. It's just that, those are not the types of things we want to share. But I have to say, having had these talks with my amazing Mom, and having similar ones with my girlfriends, it lifts a little weight off the shoulders. It makes us feel like even the people we think are the "perfect Mom's" in reality, really have the same struggles that any other Mother has.
So...As much as I want my kids to remember the good times, I also want them to know that sometimes there were some less than desirable moments in there too. Why? Because, I don't want them to grow up thinking that life is perfect. Perfect is just not realistic or achievable. Life is messy at times. I want them to know that Parenthood is a like a road trip. Sometimes you feel like you have everything under control. You are on cruise control thinkin' "I've got this parenting thing down. I'm doing pretty good." And then you hit a dead end and have to shift gears and recover ground that you thought you wouldn't have to retrace. You rediscover things along the way that you failed to see the first time, and at the end of the day, you appreciate what you had at the very start of your journey.
So, to my children who will one day read this when they are grown, remember that "It Ain't Always Sunshine and Rainbows." As parents, you may question yourself, regret decisions that you made, knock your head against the wall at times...but so does every other parent. Because, if we didn't, then we wouldn't care. So, while I may not record many of your "less than desirable moments" on here, or mine for that matter, they did exist. And sharing these moments with others will provide some good laughter, keep reality in check, and give you the confidence that you are doing just fine.
